*An interactive poem*
I’ve been a sad person for my whole life
And I know the workings of being sad.
The hum and drone
and persistent diminuendo.
*reader, please take a deep sigh- for immersion*
I’m come so far
In the war of attrition with the rival in my mind.
I’ve learned to stay sane
By repeating mantras of cooperation
By having discourse with the apparition.
I told him,
“I know that you are me and that I am you.
That you belong in my brain
and are part of my breath.
I’ve accepted you, took you in like the lost child you are.”
*Now, run your fingers across your brow and pinch the top of your nose and keep them there. Again- for immersion*
Dad needs some alone-time.
And- well, son…
Can’t you obsess over your dolls in the other room?”
*Imagine the child closes the door behind him*
I’ve suspected in recent years
That the kid ain’t so bad.
He inspires me-
Teaches me to maintain a tender heart.
I just wish I could get through to him.
Help walk him through his tantrums,
Convince him that daddy’s never gone too far away.
You see, he merely spies his world;
Knows he don’t quite fit the mould.
And with that tension
He clenches his fists while he sleeps.
He don’t know it, but I run my fingers through his hair
On restless nights.
*Now, run your fingers through your own hair, forehead to neck*
I know you think he’s a problem child,
And he may be.
But he’s also mine.
I’m proud of the kid.
I think there’s a reason he’s in my life.
Maybe to make me humble or wise.
I’ve thought of him as a blessing in disguise-
A very good disguise.
*One more breath. This time to center yourself*
I want to grow past this sadness.
Not to kill him or replace him,
But to give him a kinder name
From the Author
This is my poem about depression. Every poet has to write one- as them’s the rules.
I think we get depressed when we behave in ways unbecoming to our purpose. And I think people who are continually depressed see that the world itself behaves in a way unbecoming to its purpose.
Depression is unresolved tension. Sometimes that tension can’t be resolved. I used to think that meant that my depression was never-ending spiral downward, but I don’t believe that anymore. Sometimes the pain we feel when we face our darkest thoughts can drive us to seek what light can be found.
Of course, depression also sucks a lot of the time. If you’re suffering, my advice is to talk to a professional. Keep talking to professionals until you find someone who helps you step forward.